Roland Lesterlin's New York Rangers Fan Profile

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A Numbers Game. posted on 12/23/2007

Mike Ribeiro was drafted in 1998, 45th overall by Montreal.  His quiet career in Montreal culminated in 2003-04 with 65 points.  He fell off to 51 the following year.  Dallas grabbed another mediocre center for their almost good team.  His first year in Dallas saw an eight point improvement over his previous year, but nothing to write home about.  He probably went undrafted in almost all but the deepest fantasy leagues.  For those of you who still see him on your waiver wire, you must look to the heavens and smile.  This guy has found a playing partner in Morrow.  He is a seriously gifted hockey player.  In the last seven games he has 7 goals and 5 assists.  But that is not the thing I want to actually talk about here.  It is his shooting percentage.  Are your ready?  Just over 38% of his shots are finding the back the net.  Just to put that in perspective, Ilya Kovalchuk put 336 shots on net last year.  If Ribeiro had done that with his shooting percentage, he would have scored 128 goals.  Alright, there is no way a player can keep up that sort of percentage…right?

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Steroids, Human Growth Hormones and Santa Claus. posted on 12/20/2007

Curt Shilling wants Roger Clemens to return 4 of his 7 Cy Young Awards due to steroids use.  He can keep his other 3 because he earned those, which still makes him one of the greatest pitchers of all time.  Furthermore, the fans he drew to the game and the stunning victories he gave us don’t mean anything after 1997.  Looking back, I never enjoyed a game Clemens pitched in since 1997.  There was no pressure because everyone knows steroids improve hand-eye coordination as well as muscle strength.  Anyway, he was already a shoe-in for the hall of fame.  He already had 192 wins.  The man was done.  This brings me to another topic that I feel should use millions of taxpayer dollars investigating…Santa Claus.

There is something like 6 billion people on the planet.  The population’s expanding every year and Santa’s not getting any younger.  I firmly believe that he must be taking steroids.  That is the only way he could keep up with public pressure to perform.  I am petitioning that all presents received after 1997 be returned to Santa’s workshop.  I know those last 11 years of presents and Christmas cheer now feel cheapened and tainted.  We’ve been having false happy memories.

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I’m Back… and so are the Rangers with Gomez and Jagr united!! posted on 12/18/2007

I know that my absence was grieved by many a reader, however I was on a vital mission of unimaginable importance.  Leaving that aside for the moment, let us return to the subject at hand.

Scott Niedermayer put on 8 shots in his first game back.  Not bad.  In his second game, he helped Anaheim shutout San Jose while picking up an assist on the powerplay.  This just shows what kind of player Scotty is.  Anaheim is a serious threat to repeat for the cup now.  For all you waiver wire addicts, Teemu Selanne has started hitting the gym pretty hard.  Usually when you’re retired and just had a kid, you might be working out with diapers… rarely do you start working out like a professional athlete.  If Scotty puts up respectable numbers, I know Teemu will come back.  To be part of a team that wins the cup twice in a row is just too much a temptation for someone who loves the game like Mr. Selanne.

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The trade is done... the waiver wire work has begun. posted on 12/14/2007

I woke up this morning with a sense of joy.  Jarome Iginla managed to produce a wonderful 4 point night, including a game winner.  As any fantasy hockey enthusiast will surely attest, a hat trick is a wonderful thing.  A hat trick that includes a powerplay goal and a game winning goal is even better; throw in 9 shots on goal and a couple of PIMS and the dream night is complete. 

As we approach the 30 game mark of the season, it is time to let the sleeping dogs lie.  If you have underperformers on your fantasy team, now is the time to cut bait and find new fertile fishing grounds.  It is better to have a hot player that gets you a few points then drop him and find the next hot commodity then to hang onto a massive underperformer.  It is true that I continue to hold my breath on Maxim Afinogenov, but that is because he has finally started to put up points. 

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GM Jay Feaster's team is famished for wins...who will leave? posted on 12/13/2007

Feaster is looking to make a major move and one of the big three are going to be shipped out.  It’s true that Dan Boyle’s absence has been difficult to overcome, though Filip Kuba has certainly taken advantage of the opportunity.  Still, a 6-1 loss to Toronto has the front office thinking major shake-up.  Here’s the conundrum:  Between Richards, St. Louis and Lacavalier, only the latter can be traded without permission.  Richards suffered a leg injury, is currently a -10 and has a no trade clause.  St. Louis is a great two-way forward and provides leadership, but is 32 years old and won’t want to play with anyone else than Vinny.  Vincent Lacavalier is 27 and some say he is the best player in the NHL this season.  Obviously Vinny has the edge when it comes to return, but it would be a mistake for Tampa to trade away their franchise player…  Or would it?

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